Glad to know customer service still exists!

So within the past few days I bought a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos... these are mine, to be consumed by me only unless I am feeling particularly generous with my children and give them 2 or 3 chips of their own (and I literally mean 2 or 3 chips, no more!) They are my addiction, I love licking the seasoning off both sides before eating the chip, then when I'm done with my little bowl full (I have to put them in bowls or a cup so I don't eat the whole bag in one sitting) I get to lick the seasoning that has accumulated on my fingers, so delicious! I've always been that person who prefers salty to sweet. In fact there are two candy bars sitting on our counter that a friend gave me, that are just waiting for Danny to get home because even though I'm hungry I would rather not eat than to eat a candy bar. The closest I get to a candy bar is a huge bar of dark chocolate that I will break a piece or two off of occasionally and I don't know if dark chocolate quite counts as candy or not. Anyway so I open this bag of doritos last night expecting all sorts of ranchy goodness but they tasted burned. Yuck! I was all prepared to get on here and call the company Frito Lame or call them Lame Ranch Doritos but I decided to call the 800 number Frito Lay provided. I was expecting a long wait or even no one to answer since it says they close at 4:30 central time and it was 4:14 when I called but I wasn't even on the phone for 30 seconds when a very helpful and nice sounding lady answered. Apparently the proper term for what I was tasting is scorched and after giving her a few numbers off of the bag and the location where they were purchased along with my name and address I was off the phone and eagerly awaiting my coupon for a free bag of Cool Ranch Doritos! Yum! They are my favorites. Now to trick Danny into picking some up on the way home from work while making him think it was his idea... hmm Anyway so there is no need to call them Frito Lame because they are quite good at customer service, they deserve $4 of my hard earned money (well Danny's hard earned money) every week. They probably just bought themselves a customer for life as well as a customer for life for an as yet unknown cardiologist, but that is another post all together (and hopefully about 40 years in the future!)

Things that give me panic attacks...

1. 

When a number shows up on my caller ID that I don't know. Seriously if you want to talk to me you should totally text me first to announce who you are so I can program your number into my cell. Otherwise I'm not picking up. It's been a long time since I had a debt collector call me and heck I don't even have any credit cards anymore, but with the fraternal order of police (aka fraternal order of "we're gonna guilt you into giving us your last $100" which would totally better be used on pampers in my house or if we are being honest a pair of oversized sunglasses, a beach hat, and cute flip flops) calling my house at all sorts of times not only including the memorial day and labor day holidays, and political campaigns running all the time not only 2-4-and 6 years (seriously I'm not voting on the school board election my kids aren't in school so don't call me) I get calls all the time. Those sneaky bastards are always using local numbers to trick me into picking up. It makes me so mad. Not to pat myself on the back or anything but I seriously have a heart of gold (if only I had a money tree too I'd be set) and I can't deny people when they are in need. I can't watch telethons or save the children commercials cause I will literally start hyperventilating because I don't have enough money to adopt them all. And I didn't have very good money management skills when I was younger so for these reasons I don't answer the phone if I don't know who you are.

2. The thought of trying to get medication for pain from a doctor. Ever since I was little I have had a fear being accused of something wrongfully whether it be something as simple as accused of lying when I'm telling the truth or as heinous as being accused of murdering someone, I've always feared this type of situation. It has made it very difficult to get help for pain I've had because I'm scared to be pushy because I don't want my doctor to think I'm a drug addict. It doesn't help that I am forever klutzy and always getting hurt or finding out I'm allergic to something (today I found out I have developed an allergy to latex, who knew?) and a lot of time I end up doing something like fracturing my elbow or breaking a toe or who knows what and then the doctor acts like a tylenol should suffice... hello I've taken so much tylenol that if they were to take a look at my liver they would guess it belonged to a 78 year old drunken hobo! I need something stronger cause my abuse of tylenol/advil/and aleeve cannot continue!

3. Clowns- Coulrophobia

4. Velvet and chenille fabric (certain fabrics- Textophobia)

5. The sound of metal on teeth such as forks or dental tools (Sounds- Acousticophobia.)

6. Ventriloquist's dummy- Automatonophobia

7. picking out fresh produce at the grocery store... seriously I start sweating trying to find apples that are blemish free, bananas that are at the perfect ripeness so they aren't too green to eat that day but that aren't so yellow that they spoil within a day or two. Also strawberries, I always try to find the freshest and if I see a single bad spot I have to start looking again. It's awful, I try to have danny get the produce for us cause the decision making process leaves me in a panic. 

I'm thinking I might need to ask the doctor about some xanax but then I would be afraid of #2 again.

Free Photo Shoot Give Away!

I'm giving away three in each category to the first people who leave me comments. Remember as said in my previous post you must be in the Tulsa area or be willing to pay for traveling expenses. Each session will be for up to 2 hours and limited licensing rights to at least 25 photos. You can get prints from snapfish very inexpensively!

Children

1. Tony and Jack

2.

3.

Families

1. The Goodman Family

2. The Luette Family

3.The Sohl Family

High School Seniors

1.Jordan Luette

2.Courtney

3.

 Engagement/Couples

1.Marla/Matt

2.

3.

Bridal Portraits (not weddings, just a bridal shoot for now, I also have a great hairstylist/make-up artist I can refer you too. Then if you like the bridal shots we can talk about the wedding)

1. Marla

2.

3.

Maternity Portraits

1. Amanda Hill

2.

3.

New Pictures

So my wonderful friend Katie came to visit me last week all the way from Virginia (DC area). I love that girl, she is so awesome! Anyway while she was here I took a lot more pictures and did a little mini-session with her and her daughter Gracie and then took a few more of all the kids playing etc. Perhaps one day I will actually get around to blogging instead of just posting photos... I wouldn't hold your breath though! I've realized that I love taking pictures and am going to try and parlay this into an actual career. I'm offering 3 free two hour sessions in each category of children, families, seniors, engagement, and brides. So if you know anyone who would like to get their pictures done for free (granted they will still have to purchase prints from snapfish or someplace like that but honestly for about $75 you could easily get 50 prints including one poster sized if you wish) have them drop me a line at photosbynaomi@gmail.com They need to be in the Tulsa area or willing to travel here if they want their pictures done. I'm willing to travel to them as long as it is within a few hours of here and there might be some traveling charges. I'm so excited and I hope you guys love these pictures as much as I do!  Remember only 3 in each category (I would also consider doing the brides wedding pictures at a discounted price if they hire me after their free session). So leave me some comments! (And forgive my poor paragraph structure etc. I'm working on setting up an actual website once I have a few more shoots under my belt.) If you want to see more pictures go check out my flickr account by clicking here!

This picture is cropped so you only see the reflection, it's not an actual picture of them, it's a picture of a lily pond, neat huh?

One of my all time favorite pictures of Bella, the look on her face is priceless!

This picture has not been edited except to brighten it a little since she was standing in the shadow of a building. She just turned to me and gave me this adorable smile... what can I say, the apple (or perhaps nut in our case) doesn't fall to far from this tree :D

Bella's cute feet! You know you love her shoes, too bad they are from last summer so you can't get them now :( And too bad they didn't have them in my size. Gosh I love Target!

Some of my favorite work so far!

More practice pictures

 

 

 

 

Me learning photograpy!

 

 

 

 

Did you know MRI's can burn your boobies?

Last Thursday (June 11th) I was putting Maeve (our third born who is currently 15 months old) in her high chair and my left elbow hit the corner of the wall. Where the drywall is joined they have a metal thing over it. We don't have fancy rounded corners, these are sharp pointy corners. If it were and animal it would have fangs instead teeth, get my drift? Anyway Maeve is a pretty large girl for her age (30 lbs, I know, whoa!) and when my arm hit the wall it sort of collapsed on itself and Maeves weight added to the pressure. At the moment we don't know what is wrong. I ended up in the ER the next morning because my elbow was hurting me so bad. I thought it was just stunned from hitting my ulnar nerve (what some people would call the funny bone, but it is really a nerve that goes right next to your elbow and runs to your fingertips in your pinky) but I was in a lot of pain. So at the ER they did some x-rays and didn't see any fractures but there was some swelling so they told me to follow up with my doctor. It was funny cause my nerve had definitely been hurt to an extent because when I would move my pinky it would snap into place like some snapped a rubber band. Anyhow so I went to my doctor on friday and she wanted to get an MRI done to make sure there wasn't a chip in the bone of possibly any ligament damage since my arm had collapsed under Maeve's weight. So she sent me to the imaging center (luckily they had an immediate opening) and they were about to do things when a clerical guy asked me if we had gotten pre-authorization from my insurance company. I said I didn't know so he called they doctor's office and they said they hadn't known it was necessary and he said that my insurance company won't pay for an MRI unless there was a pre-authorization. Boo for insurance companies right? Anyway so I had to go home because it was early friday evening and they couldn't get it down that night. So they got it down Monday afternoon but the earliest I could get in was tonight at 7pm. I hate leaving the house when danny is home. Call me crazy but I miss him! I just want to be with my husband all the time... or maybe I just want someone to talk to who is older than 3.5 lol. 

Anyway I got my MRI done tonight and I had never realized I'm sort of claustrophobic until they showed me that machine. It was seriously just a little bit larger around than the opening on a toilet seat. They had me laying on my stomach with my arm stretched out in front of me and my face pretty much smashed into a pillow that was between my face and the big huge cuff they had to hold my elbow in place. So I'm already uncomfortable.

Then my boobs were on fire, like seriously I felt like someone was holding two irons to my boobies (said like Caroline and Dina Manzo and Teresa say boobies, sort of like bubbies lol, I love me some Real Housewives of New Jersey!).I was dying. During one of the breaks I asked him if the machine heats up or anything. The MRI tech came in and told me that the machine has to do something with the fat to see through it and since I'm breast feeding and there is a lot of fat in breast milk, well and breast in general, I mean mine are pretty huge right now, anyway he said it would heat up. So my breast milk was basically boiling inside my boobies. It was seriously one of the most awful experiences of my life pain wise. I thought I was just laying on them weird or something, and I felt sort of crazy cause I thought I might start bawling, but then the guy told me that it is normal for there to be heat in the fat areas. I was like well why the heck isn't my stomach and bum burning up too?

Oh and I was horrified that I might get stuck in the MRI machine and then they would have to call the fire department to get me out and then everyone would know me as "that fat girl who got stuck in the MRI"... it was a horrifying experience all around! 

I was also terrified that since I had to wear shorts that the MRI tech might be able to see my bum when he had me laying on my stomach. Then he had me switch to laying on my back with my arm over my head when my boobies started burning and I was all paranoid about my stomach showing. I mean you don't have four babies in 3.5 years and have  a gorgeous stomach, not unless you have sold your soul to the devil or you are angelina jolie or both. I have no idea why they don't have like a selection of movies or tv shows, or books on tape for all MRI patients to listen to. I mean they brain scan people get to watch movies so they've obviously figured out how to get around the whole giant magnet might rip apart any electronic device that's in the room problem. If I even have to have an MRI again I'm gonna need a sedative or better yet general anesthesia. I saw a little kid well baby really as she was probably no more than 18 months old, who was out like a light waiting for her MRI. It was so precious. I just wanted to pick her up and cuddle her. 

Anyway now I'm bored and awake and I hate being in the living room when danny is in bed, I just want to be next to him (poor guy, I'm probably smothering him lol) but I don't want to wake him up by having the tv on or the lamp on so I can read. And my kids always find and murder my book lights so I'm on the computer with the backlight dimmed as low as possible. I guess I could go search netflix and hulu.com for something to watch and then just bust out the headphones but I can never really find anything I'm super interested in watching. I really just want to read my book. I'm currently reading The Host by Stephanie Meyer (yes of Twilight fame) it's pretty good so far. I also wish that New Moon would come out soon. I can't get enough of Robert Pattinson's face! He's so cute! And Tyler/Taylor Lautner too. I don't remember his first name, let's just call him by what should be his real name, Jacob, cause he is the perfect Jacob in my mind. I was really angered at the girl they picked to play Bella (Kristen Stewart) Now I sort of see her as physically looking like Bella (although I originally pictured Rory from Gilmore Girls) but her acting is awful, she looks like she's constipated half the time. And to be fair Robert Pattinson's performance was definitely not oscar worthy but he is so dang pretty! It can be overlooked. Smoldering is a great word for him. I think he was the perfect Edward. I was also disappointed though in the things they left out of the book, like the meadow? Seriously it was disappointing. But whatever, I've strayed off topic, like always. Please forgive the over abundance of typos and stray sentences as well as the sentences that have been abandoned like a red headed step child. I am still taking hydrocodone and I know no one who hasn't experienced it believes me but mirena can make you forgetful and have memory lapses too. Maybe I should repost my cafemom post about the evils of mirena on here since I've been neglecting my blog so long. I've been trying really hard to get the house cleaned and every thing the kids could need in the mornings before I sit down and get on the computer. Mainly so I won't have to get back up later since my medicine makes me hot if I move too much after I've taken it. So I wait until I've done everything to take my medicine and sit down. And generally by then Danny comes home for lunch and he is studying for his MES exam he takes next month and then we lay down together and snuggle while Bella has quiet time and the other kids nap. Then it starts all over again when they get up from their naps so I really haven't been on the computer much at all. Plus I got a camera as my present for having Rudy (way better than flowers in my opinion, what a wonderful husband right?) so I've been taking lots of pictures of random crap around the house, as well as my kids... wait that sounds like I'm calling my kids random crap... well they aren't but they sure do get annoying sometimes. Anyway I'm taking lot's of pictures and I'm entering them in some contests in my cafemom photography groups and I'm actually tied for the lead in one category! I'm so excited! Anyway I'll post some of the most recent pictures I've taken but beware a lot of them are just the kids cause I love them so much! So you might get bored, unless you are one of the grandparents! 

I'm so angry! (Mirena is evil!)

Ok so sometimes women have problems with hormonal birth control. It can cause depression and apparently aggression too. I feel like I might punch a hole in the wall. I hate freakin' Mirena. I was doing great then I got Mirena and all of a sudden I wish I could get away with knockin' some heads around. I hate feeling like this, like I might loose control. This is not who I am. I feel so sick. I hate it that the things my kids are doing, the things normal kids do everyday, is annoying me so much that I'm yelling at them. Normally it's just frustrating, today there have been time outs galore. Tripp insists on smashing every single goldfish to smithereens and taking the rice, chicken, vegetable, casserole we had for dinner and rubbing it through his hair. I thought, ok they are eating I can sit down and check my e-mail... guess I shouldn't have sat in the recliner since it faces away from the dining room. I knew he was being too quiet. I absolutely hate dinner time. Bella pretty much refuses to eat anything I cook for dinner, even if it's something she likes, she's on a little power trip, crazy three year old! And Tripp and Maeve always make a mess. Tripp knows better too but I guess he is trying to get more attention but Danny works so much sometimes, like tonight he won't be home before one of the kids is asleep for the night. So that leaves me trying to give enough love and attention to four kids and feeling like a failure because I know no matter how much I do for them it will never be enough. They will all most likely end up feeling jilted in some regard, whether it be they had to wear hand me down clothes (Maeve and Rudy) or that there aren't enough pictures of them as babies (Bella and Tripp) or whatever, I know they will always find something to complain about what I am doing. It kills me. I can't be perfect. My house is a testament to that. My house is never clean. Well maybe for 5 minutes each day and then it's a disaster. It looks like I don't know what a vacuum is, even though I vacuum daily. And for some reason people in my house refuse to use paper plates or to keep the same cup all day so I end up with tons and tons of dishes. 

The thing that gets me the most though is that all of this was happening a few weeks ago. At that point I would shrug and say, oh well, I'm trying and my kids are happy (for the most part) and well taken care of, I just have to keep going. And I was ok with that. 

Now I entertain thoughts of running away to Europe, changing my name to Nadia, and taking up drinking. All because of these stupid hormones. And I'm hot all the time. If I am not sweating then I'm shaking. That's right it affects my body temp too. Three days in a row my temp hovered around the 97 degree range, 96.8 is the beginning stage of hypothermia. I woke up the other night shaking so hard I thought I must have a fever. I took my temp and it was only 96.2 degrees. Not good. I could even get it out of the 97 range with a hot bath. Mirena is the devil. Seriously. I was supposed to get it taken out yesterday but my doctor had to leave or something. The lady at the check in desk didn't even know what was going on. She just said oh yah they said they have to reschedule your appointment. Oh, ok, thanks for letting me know before I got here. Bah! Anyway I'm just pissed right now. 

Urban Dictionary

Be careful when you do this but go to urbandictionary. com & type in your answers to each question and copy and paste the definition below your answer.
1. Your name: Naomi

An exotically splendid name for people of the female gender. The name is given to children who display unparalled beauty and intelligence. The name has also been known to be given to children that display Goddess-like qualities that surpass all mortal knowledge.

2. Nickname: Mimi
A word to define a wonderful friend. Sweet, funny, sarcastic, but GREAT and beautiful.

3. Hair color: Brunette
Brunette's are known to be reliable, dependable, intelligent, and exotic. It's also been said that brunettes are more approachable since the color brown is prevalent across all cultures. Brunettes are more seductive and exotic than blondes, and they stand out. They're unique and individualistic, whereas with blondes, I've heard people say "all blondes look the same" or "barbie doll." Although it is just a hair color, brunettes in general are more beautiful and striking.

4. Favorite color: Green
Al Gore's favorite color.

5. One of your Friends: Beatriz
A beautiful great girl who makes everyone happy. They tend to be very smart and funny. Everyone likes girls with this name, because they are such good friends.

6. What should you be doing: Cleaning
(v) The act of shoving everything in a closet and calling it decent.

"I'm cleaning my closet." 
"Where are you shoving all your stuff then?" 
"My room." 
"Ah."

Action that people do when bored. 
Involve taking a pile of junk and moving it to somewhere else in the house. 


7. Favorite Food: Italian

The sworn immortal enemies of Dr. Atkins

8. Hometown: Maryland

The state with the biggest identity crisis in America. Parts of it like DC and Baltimore are extremely ghetto, with two of the top 5 murder rates in the country. Balto is the heroine capital of the world. Suburbs like Potomac are Bethesda are among the richest and most well educated in the country, and populated by lawyers and doctors with preppy rich children who drive Benz's. To the far west, you have the type of hicks that live in West Virginia up in the Appalachian mountains. To the south and the east you have the kind of hicks you might find in Mississippi. In Ocean City you have retired people who decided to go live on the beach. Around the bay area, you have a lot of fisherman. Maryland may be mixed up, but the crabs are damn good.

Q: What do you get when you mix a drug dealer, a mass murderer, a nascar driver and a fisherman? 

9. Another friends name: Amanda
A women named Amanda is typically very beautiful with an incredible body and nice eyes. They are known to be very loveable. Amandas are envied by other women.

10. Your last name? Stephens

1) stephens, n. Mistake or error of greatly foolish proportions, usually due to subject's stupidity and resulting in laughter from onlookers. 

2) stephens, adj. Person who performs an above average amount of ridiculous or foolish mistakes resulting in stupendous awe from onlookers. 

3) stephens, interj. Used to express sudden disbelief at a stupid or foolish act.