After my friend Earl passed away I was ok for a few days. It was like a dream or a movie. It wasn't yet real to me. Beatriz cried but I didn't. It was so strange. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. I should have been sobbing. This was one of my closest friends, in fact we had even talked about getting married at one point (though we were young teenagers and knowing what I know now it would not have been a good marriage, we were too much alike). The only real reaction I had to his death was the inability to focus on anything but him.
His wife Jenny was in Afghanistan when it happened and it was going to take a while for her to get back to tell the kids so there wasn't much about it on Facebook. His wall was locked and posts were deleted. I kept in contact with Jenny, and constantly checked people's walls to see if anyone was speaking about him. It consumed my thoughts for several days. I couldn't focus on anything. Then I finally broke down and cried a few days after I found out...and I couldn't stop. I couldn't do my school work. In fact I had to drop two classes because I got so far behind, which will affect my financial aid and possibly mean I won't be able to attend school in the fall.
I decided I need to go see someone to just work through all the stress I was experiencing not only with Earl's death, but in general. Even before his death I had spent about a week with an elevated heart rate and jumping at every sound. Every little thing put me on edge. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack at any moment, but it never happened. One day I even wore my heart rate monitor and found my heart rate stayed in the high 90's even while sitting down reading. Our front door is very loud when being opened thanks to a piece of metal that is meant to make it more secure when closed. Every time the door was opened I would jump (and sometimes scream), even if I knew Danny had just arrived home and would be opening the door at any moment. I won't even talk about the doorbell.
So 4 weeks ago, I went to see a therapist for what was supposed to be an hour intake appointment...and ended up speaking to her for about 2.5 hours. I had a lot bottled up. I had to go over the traumatic experiences in my life. I've told them to some people, but I don't know that there is anyone (except maybe Danny) who knows every little thing... maybe not even Danny. There are times when I forget. And to be honest, there is so much that it seems fake... even to me. It seems like too much to have happened to one person, and since I tend to be overly dramatic I've feared no one would believe me. I also tend to be pretty nonchalant about it as a way to stay in control of my feelings. I dissociate and numb myself so I don't have to deal with the emotions. I'm supposed to list them all for my next therapy appointment, so I'll do that here.
Birth-2yrs- Lots of crap I don't remember because I was too young but my father is paranoid schizophrenic and was abusive to everyone in our family.
3yrs- Dad tries to kidnap me and Jack from church in Oklahoma. (I remember this quite well).
4 yrs- attacked by our Doberman Pinscher named Hershey when I tried to giver her a "bear hug"
4-5yrs- attacked again by Hershey at night time when I walked up behind her and touched her back and proclaimed "This is my dog too". Was almost killed but my mom started beating Hershey with our shopping bags. I still remember my mom holding me and looking up at the lights in the ER. At this point I started having nightmares every night. It always started with a puppy that was little and wagging it's tail and panting and then as I call it closer and try to pet it, it would turn into a big doberman with a clipped tail and ears and would start growling and attack me. I would then fall through a hole like Alice does in Alice in Wonderland and wake up screaming.
About this time we moved from living next door to my grandparents in Noble, Oklahoma to a small town in the Missouri bootheel (basically the area where Missouri, Arkansas, and Tennessee meet) called Caruthersville.
5 yrs- At a church pool party two older girls (probably only 7-8) put me in a baby floatie (one of the yellow ones) and then they wandered away. It tipped over and my face landed in the water. I was not able to get out of the floatie and couldn't sit upright because of the air in the back of the floatie. I almost drowned but luckily my mom had enrolled me in swimming lessons and I was able to struggle and swim over to the side of the pool. The lifeguard didn't notice me and neither did anyone else for quite a while. I was at the side of the pool grabbing onto the edge and started hitting it. I can still taste the chlorine.
The rest of my childhood was pretty normal though there was the occasional time when we'd deal with my father trying to contact us and you could see the fear and anxiety in all the adult faces. That always put me on edge. My clumsiness also became more apparent during this time as I somehow got my foot ran over by a car and fell from the top of a 10 foot slide and landed on my back.
The summer after 5th grade we moved from from Missouri to Oklahoma. I was 11. Things went fairly well minus a time when some high school students started using their truck to run over our mailbox. They did it several times until my grandpa came down and helped mom set the post 3 feet down into the ground with cement...probably ruined their truck. I was very nervous during that time and they were coming to our house nightly and repeatedly bashing our mailbox. Probably just some kids who were mad at my mom (the middle school and high school art teacher) for giving them a bad grade or making them act appropriately while at school.
Fast forward a bit.
16yrs- I was in my first major car accident with my best friend Beatriz. We were T-boned on the passenger side where Beatriz was sitting. I suffered some muscle/ligament damage to my back but took the brunt of the hit and had a broken collar bone and some other injuries.
17 yrs- I was raped. I'm not going into this for obvious reasons but I still carry a lot of shame and feel responsible.
19 yrs- Second major car accident with my other best friend Amanda. We were rear-ended by a suburban going about 40 miles an hour. I still have chronic back problems and pain from this car accident. I never had a migraine until this accident. I didn't drive much for several years after this accident.
21 yrs- an incident I don't want to share yet. Maybe in the future.
23 yrs- a close friend was murdered at gunpoint.
25 yrs- experience during pregnancy with Maeve where a nurse made me feel as if I was being raped again.
29- close friend commits suicide.
And that is it for now. There might be more, sometimes I forget things. I had to go back to add in the rape as I block it from memory most days...unfortunately my nonchalance about it makes people doubt whether it happened...which definitely hurts. Right now I feel like throwing up, but I have to take a shower and go take the kids to Speech and PT.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Wednesday, May 09, 2012
Untitled #1
I don't know what to call this post. I want something short and catchy with a layer of humor over an abundance of depth, but nothing is coming. Rather than fall short, I'll just call it untitled.
I haven't blogged in a long time. I felt like the things that mattered to me would not matter to others or would be offensive to others. Instead of subjecting myself to the anxiety that would come from the anticipated invalidation I bottled things up. I do that a lot. In fact even when I discuss my feelings I don't really allow them to escape. It makes me feel weak and out of control, both things that I loathe.
Recently this habit of compartmentalizing my feelings and staying detached has come back with a vengeance. In the words of Tim Minchin it's created "cracks in my diplomacy dike"...and my friendliness dike, and my ability to function as a normal member of society dike. Stress and anxiety, anger and rage, fear and distrust, have started seeping out of me like pressurized gas escapes fissures in the earth's crust. Slowly at times but then in great, massive, booms that seem to be set off by the slightest movement.
Over the past 18 months I've slowly started to feel more and more stress and pressure. Some of it was because I chose to go back to school and my perfectionist tendencies make me super anxious to get anything less than straight A's. The other area of stress has been because of the amount of time and effort it takes to raise four physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy kids.
When our 3rd born Maeve was about 2.5 we started noticing some of her behavior's were not consistent with those of an average child. Other people even started to comment on it. The child psychologist who did her intake almost diagnosed her with PDD-NOS (a mild form of Autism) but did not want to limit her and label her at such a young age. It was also found that she experiences nearly crippling anxiety. So last August we started with behavioral therapy, speech therapy, and occupational therapy. Later we added in physical therapy as well to help with some of her clumsiness, her tip-toe walking, and overall lack of coordination and muscle strength. For Maeve alone we spend 3-4 hours a week in some form of therapy.
Eventually all of our other kids were evaluated for Speech and OT based on the behaviors the therapists noticed in the waiting room so now we have all four kids in Speech and OT as well. Tripton also attends behavioral therapy for his inattention and outbursts, it seems to be helping him. Bella is going to be evaluated in June because of some anxiety she is experiencing. Basically I sit in a therapists office for a good 10 hours a week. This doesn't take into account all the time spent for normal doctor's appointments for 4 kids ages 6, 5, 4, and 3...they also have an allergist as all four of them have horrible allergies and both of the girls have been diagnosed with asthma.
So I've been experiencing a lot more stress lately. Because of past experiences that I haven't dealt with properly and the extra stress I've faced the past 18 months, I've slowly dissolved into a puddle of extremely agitated nerves and become incapable of doing much about anything. I was barely in control of myself...and then one of my closest friends of 15 years committed suicide and I lost it.
There is a lot more to this story and I'm hoping to tell more of it within the next few days, but it is very hard. I'm also nervous because I know someone else who is doing something similar with their blog. I'm not trying to copy or to take away any portion of the spotlight, I just feel like I might explode if I don't put this out there. One post would be forever long, and emotionally I couldn't handle it, so I'll be doing installments as I'm able.
Here is a picture of my friend who died, his name is Earl but we had a little inside joke going between us that his name was supposed to have been Roy, so I often called him Roy. This was taken at a dance when I was about 15-16, he would have been 17-18 in this picture. He is the one in the blue shirt and he is holding his sister Lynell. I am in the purple shirt and wearing the Santa Clause hat. The other people in the picture are our friends Jonathan and Jeremy and my best friend Beatriz.
Earl was a wonderful friend. It is one of the most painful things in life to know that I will never again be able to tell him how much I love him. We weren't as close in recent years and I wasn't as good of a friend as I could have been. It pains me that I can never fully apologize and make sure he understood it was my own weakness and nothing personal that made me bail when he and his family needed me most. Rest in peace Roy, I love you.
I haven't blogged in a long time. I felt like the things that mattered to me would not matter to others or would be offensive to others. Instead of subjecting myself to the anxiety that would come from the anticipated invalidation I bottled things up. I do that a lot. In fact even when I discuss my feelings I don't really allow them to escape. It makes me feel weak and out of control, both things that I loathe.
Recently this habit of compartmentalizing my feelings and staying detached has come back with a vengeance. In the words of Tim Minchin it's created "cracks in my diplomacy dike"...and my friendliness dike, and my ability to function as a normal member of society dike. Stress and anxiety, anger and rage, fear and distrust, have started seeping out of me like pressurized gas escapes fissures in the earth's crust. Slowly at times but then in great, massive, booms that seem to be set off by the slightest movement.
Over the past 18 months I've slowly started to feel more and more stress and pressure. Some of it was because I chose to go back to school and my perfectionist tendencies make me super anxious to get anything less than straight A's. The other area of stress has been because of the amount of time and effort it takes to raise four physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy kids.
When our 3rd born Maeve was about 2.5 we started noticing some of her behavior's were not consistent with those of an average child. Other people even started to comment on it. The child psychologist who did her intake almost diagnosed her with PDD-NOS (a mild form of Autism) but did not want to limit her and label her at such a young age. It was also found that she experiences nearly crippling anxiety. So last August we started with behavioral therapy, speech therapy, and occupational therapy. Later we added in physical therapy as well to help with some of her clumsiness, her tip-toe walking, and overall lack of coordination and muscle strength. For Maeve alone we spend 3-4 hours a week in some form of therapy.
Eventually all of our other kids were evaluated for Speech and OT based on the behaviors the therapists noticed in the waiting room so now we have all four kids in Speech and OT as well. Tripton also attends behavioral therapy for his inattention and outbursts, it seems to be helping him. Bella is going to be evaluated in June because of some anxiety she is experiencing. Basically I sit in a therapists office for a good 10 hours a week. This doesn't take into account all the time spent for normal doctor's appointments for 4 kids ages 6, 5, 4, and 3...they also have an allergist as all four of them have horrible allergies and both of the girls have been diagnosed with asthma.
So I've been experiencing a lot more stress lately. Because of past experiences that I haven't dealt with properly and the extra stress I've faced the past 18 months, I've slowly dissolved into a puddle of extremely agitated nerves and become incapable of doing much about anything. I was barely in control of myself...and then one of my closest friends of 15 years committed suicide and I lost it.
There is a lot more to this story and I'm hoping to tell more of it within the next few days, but it is very hard. I'm also nervous because I know someone else who is doing something similar with their blog. I'm not trying to copy or to take away any portion of the spotlight, I just feel like I might explode if I don't put this out there. One post would be forever long, and emotionally I couldn't handle it, so I'll be doing installments as I'm able.
Earl was a wonderful friend. It is one of the most painful things in life to know that I will never again be able to tell him how much I love him. We weren't as close in recent years and I wasn't as good of a friend as I could have been. It pains me that I can never fully apologize and make sure he understood it was my own weakness and nothing personal that made me bail when he and his family needed me most. Rest in peace Roy, I love you.
Saturday, January 07, 2012
The Best Career Choices for Me (According to iVillage.com)
You would most enjoy a career that allows you to meet new people. You would also be happiest in a career that allows you to be free and flexible, and allows you to be extremely creative. Some careers that would be perfect for you are:
- Stockbroker
- Secretary
- Receptionist
- Director
- Recruitment Consultant
- Politician
- Marketing
- Human Resources Manager
- Religious Minister
- Teacher
- Lawyer
- Advertising
- Consultant
- Financial Adviser
- Financial Planner
- GP
- Physical Therapy
- Occupational Therapy
- Public Relations
- Estate Agent
- Travel Agent
- Restauranteur/Hotel Manager
- Events Organiser
You are a great leader. You genuinely enjoy being around other people. Your relationships with others are very important to you. You love talking and meeting new people. You are very enthusiastic about work and about all that you do and have in your life. You love being the focus of attention. You enjoy a fast pace. You are very socially oriented. Therefore, you are much happier being with others than you are alone. You crave interaction with others.
You are very spontaneous and often act before you think. You are always quick to answer when you are asked a question, even if you aren't sure of the answer. It is easier for you to improvise as you go along. You enjoy thinking out loud, and are most creative when brainstorming with friends or colleagues. You enjoy being involved in many activities.
You are very easy to read, and often wear your heart on your sleeve. You are never afraid to tell people what you think. You are very empathetic and genuine. You can sometimes be seen as over-emotional or too involved by others. But that is only because you tend to get so involved in the things you do that they become personal. You want to be adored, loved and appreciated. You like to please others and to make sure people are happy.
You trust your gut instincts. You are easily inspired and trust that inspiration. You are very innovative. You analyse things by looking at the big picture. You are concerned about how what you do affects others. You worry about your actions and the future. You tend to use a lot of metaphors and are very descriptive and colourful in your choice of language.
You are very creative, and get bored easily if you don't get to express yourself. You like to learn new things. You don't like the same old routine. You like to leave your options open.
Finding a career that is right for you isn't always an easy thing. However, if you secure a job that is suited to your personality type you will enjoy going to work, feel great about yourself, feel appreciated and look forward to what's ahead.
This test was adapted from C. G. Jung's famous personality types.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
OMG the world is ending...
Two blogs in less than 24 hours? What is going on?
Anyway I don't know what to do. I need some advice and input. Real input and advice. Not just people saying to pray about something. I need logic right now to help me make my choice.
I'm about 16-30 credits shy of graduating with an associates degree. The problem is I don't know what I want my major to be. I've switched it about 50 gazillion times. First it was Theatre, then Music, then Interior Design, then Psychology, then I flirted with the idea of Surgical Tech before quickly switching back to Psychology, and then Speech because I only need 2 more Speech classes to finish my degree in addition to my other course work. I still need to take Comp II, a lab science, and a math class (which math class I need depends on which degree I choose). I already have enough credits to have an associates degree, but none of them combine to make an actual degree.
Even though my Speech degree is closest to being complete I cannot take the last 2 classes I need online so I cannot finish next semester because I don't have anyone to watch my kids while I go to classes during the day (even though it would only be for a few hours a week).
And mostly I'm stalling. I miss the arts. I love psychology and neuroscience but the cost of completing a Ph.D. or a PsyD is staggering, especially since TU is the only local place I could attend for that. And a psychology bachelor's degree is not going to get me much.
I've flirted with going to medical school. I would have to become a surgeon because that is what interests me. I don't want to be heavily involved in patient care... I just think it's awesome to be able to cut someone open and fix their insides. Or possible I'd be a plastic surgeon because it combines art and science quite well. The main problem is I don't think I want to slave away at school that long. Even if I got my butt in gear and finished my bachelor's in two years and immediately got accepted into medical school (and could somehow pay for it all) I'd then have a good 5-7 years for residency and any fellowships so I wouldn't even start to really recoup money for student loans for 11-13 years. I'd most likely be in my 40's and my kids would be about to graduate from high school. And residency would mean lots of time away from home until I was able to work in a non-emergency/trauma setting that didn't require being on call to perform surgery in the middle of the night.
I've thought about law school but if I can't be Matlock or Perry Mason I don't want to do it. I don't want to prosecute for fear of prosecuting someone who is innocent and I don't want to defend for fear of someone guilty getting off scot-free.
And even though I'd love interior design, it doesn't have a steady income and you can barely make any money doing design in Tulsa. I know a designer who made $13,000 one year... that definitely wouldn't cover my expenses in gas, a home office, child care etc.
The surgical tech program would only take 9 months, but then I'm face with the child care issue again.
The problem is I really want a degree and I don't really care what it is in as long as I can be creative in the future, even if my job isn't creative... but I need to be able to afford the degree.
I don't know what to do.
Anyway I don't know what to do. I need some advice and input. Real input and advice. Not just people saying to pray about something. I need logic right now to help me make my choice.
I'm about 16-30 credits shy of graduating with an associates degree. The problem is I don't know what I want my major to be. I've switched it about 50 gazillion times. First it was Theatre, then Music, then Interior Design, then Psychology, then I flirted with the idea of Surgical Tech before quickly switching back to Psychology, and then Speech because I only need 2 more Speech classes to finish my degree in addition to my other course work. I still need to take Comp II, a lab science, and a math class (which math class I need depends on which degree I choose). I already have enough credits to have an associates degree, but none of them combine to make an actual degree.
Even though my Speech degree is closest to being complete I cannot take the last 2 classes I need online so I cannot finish next semester because I don't have anyone to watch my kids while I go to classes during the day (even though it would only be for a few hours a week).
And mostly I'm stalling. I miss the arts. I love psychology and neuroscience but the cost of completing a Ph.D. or a PsyD is staggering, especially since TU is the only local place I could attend for that. And a psychology bachelor's degree is not going to get me much.
I've flirted with going to medical school. I would have to become a surgeon because that is what interests me. I don't want to be heavily involved in patient care... I just think it's awesome to be able to cut someone open and fix their insides. Or possible I'd be a plastic surgeon because it combines art and science quite well. The main problem is I don't think I want to slave away at school that long. Even if I got my butt in gear and finished my bachelor's in two years and immediately got accepted into medical school (and could somehow pay for it all) I'd then have a good 5-7 years for residency and any fellowships so I wouldn't even start to really recoup money for student loans for 11-13 years. I'd most likely be in my 40's and my kids would be about to graduate from high school. And residency would mean lots of time away from home until I was able to work in a non-emergency/trauma setting that didn't require being on call to perform surgery in the middle of the night.
I've thought about law school but if I can't be Matlock or Perry Mason I don't want to do it. I don't want to prosecute for fear of prosecuting someone who is innocent and I don't want to defend for fear of someone guilty getting off scot-free.
And even though I'd love interior design, it doesn't have a steady income and you can barely make any money doing design in Tulsa. I know a designer who made $13,000 one year... that definitely wouldn't cover my expenses in gas, a home office, child care etc.
The surgical tech program would only take 9 months, but then I'm face with the child care issue again.
The problem is I really want a degree and I don't really care what it is in as long as I can be creative in the future, even if my job isn't creative... but I need to be able to afford the degree.
I don't know what to do.
Friday, December 09, 2011
Dainty as an elephant...
This has been a crazy summer and fall. This summer we finally got Maeve into occupational therapy and speech therapy, as well as behavioral therapy and some physical therapy (though that is on hold right now as her physical therapist had a stroke and retired but someone new is starting at the beginning of January).
With Maeve's extreme anxiety we decided it would be best to have Tripp there with her initially... her therapist recommended that we have him evaluated as well. Turns out he definitely needed speech and also needed occupational therapy as well. Then I started noticing how hyper and out of control he could get, so we had him evaluated at Maeve's psychologist's office. Long story short he more than likely has ADD/ADHD but because of his major delays in speech and a few other things they are not giving an official diagnosis yet as those things can also indicate Pervasive Developmental Disorder, or Asperger's. The psychologist is holding off on the diagnosis until he's completed his year of speech therapy but in the mean time he will be starting ABA therapy.
I started to notice a few similar things with Rudy's behavior so I had him evaluated for OT and ST as well. And even though he is not as delayed as Maeve and Tripp are, because he is the baby and the people he plays with and emulates the most are Maeve and Tripp, we've gone ahead and put him in therapy as well.
Then I noticed Bella exhibiting some sensory issues and a tongue thrust (a speech thing) so I went ahead to have her evaluated... basically I now have 4 children who attend occupational therapy and speech therapy each week.
One of their main issues is sensory processing disorder which basically is a neurological condition that makes them process sensory input in a different manner. Some times they are over sensitive to sounds, sights, or textures... even emotions (in Twilight world Jasper would probably have SPD), other times they need more stimulation than the average person and seek out certain sounds, textures, or sights. Another major factor is coordination. There can be problems with sending signals through the brain that can cause clumsiness. This is important... especially when you consider it is genetic.
Anyway I feel like we have a new lease on life through therapy. The kids are all doing amazingly well and best of all, answers for me are popping up out of nowhere. Normally people with SPD are introverts, but about a third of the time they can be an extrovert... like me. After speaking with the OT I started to realize I do many of the same things and they affect my life as much as they do the kids. For instance I have to wear ear plugs if the dishwasher, washing machine, and music are all going at the same time. It makes me anxious and feel like my heart is going to pound out of my chest.
You may have also noticed how clumsy I am. Turns out thy kids have inherited this from me. The best news is even I can get a handle on much of this. It's been recommended that we get a trampoline and the kids and I jump on it everyday to help with becoming more aware of where our bodies are in relation to other objects in our environments.
When speaking to Danny I could see the light bulb going off and him connecting all of the little dots. It even explains my hypersensitivity to pain. He agreed with the occupational therapist and now things like me freaking out when all four kids are talking to me at once makes a lot more sense to him. It doesn't make it right, but at least we now understand and I am able to preempt it.
So this is taking a long time to explain, and I'm very tired, but anyone who has known me a long time can do a little search about sensory processing disorder or sensory integration dysfunction and learn more about it. I'm hopeful that one day we can all live a bit more normal, happier, lives, with less stress.
With Maeve's extreme anxiety we decided it would be best to have Tripp there with her initially... her therapist recommended that we have him evaluated as well. Turns out he definitely needed speech and also needed occupational therapy as well. Then I started noticing how hyper and out of control he could get, so we had him evaluated at Maeve's psychologist's office. Long story short he more than likely has ADD/ADHD but because of his major delays in speech and a few other things they are not giving an official diagnosis yet as those things can also indicate Pervasive Developmental Disorder, or Asperger's. The psychologist is holding off on the diagnosis until he's completed his year of speech therapy but in the mean time he will be starting ABA therapy.
I started to notice a few similar things with Rudy's behavior so I had him evaluated for OT and ST as well. And even though he is not as delayed as Maeve and Tripp are, because he is the baby and the people he plays with and emulates the most are Maeve and Tripp, we've gone ahead and put him in therapy as well.
Then I noticed Bella exhibiting some sensory issues and a tongue thrust (a speech thing) so I went ahead to have her evaluated... basically I now have 4 children who attend occupational therapy and speech therapy each week.
One of their main issues is sensory processing disorder which basically is a neurological condition that makes them process sensory input in a different manner. Some times they are over sensitive to sounds, sights, or textures... even emotions (in Twilight world Jasper would probably have SPD), other times they need more stimulation than the average person and seek out certain sounds, textures, or sights. Another major factor is coordination. There can be problems with sending signals through the brain that can cause clumsiness. This is important... especially when you consider it is genetic.
Anyway I feel like we have a new lease on life through therapy. The kids are all doing amazingly well and best of all, answers for me are popping up out of nowhere. Normally people with SPD are introverts, but about a third of the time they can be an extrovert... like me. After speaking with the OT I started to realize I do many of the same things and they affect my life as much as they do the kids. For instance I have to wear ear plugs if the dishwasher, washing machine, and music are all going at the same time. It makes me anxious and feel like my heart is going to pound out of my chest.
You may have also noticed how clumsy I am. Turns out thy kids have inherited this from me. The best news is even I can get a handle on much of this. It's been recommended that we get a trampoline and the kids and I jump on it everyday to help with becoming more aware of where our bodies are in relation to other objects in our environments.
When speaking to Danny I could see the light bulb going off and him connecting all of the little dots. It even explains my hypersensitivity to pain. He agreed with the occupational therapist and now things like me freaking out when all four kids are talking to me at once makes a lot more sense to him. It doesn't make it right, but at least we now understand and I am able to preempt it.
So this is taking a long time to explain, and I'm very tired, but anyone who has known me a long time can do a little search about sensory processing disorder or sensory integration dysfunction and learn more about it. I'm hopeful that one day we can all live a bit more normal, happier, lives, with less stress.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Sunday, June 05, 2011
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