My Golden Moment

All my life I have been concerned with what other people think of me. And it has been in an unhealthy manner. I always weighed my actions based on what other people would think of them and how that would affect their opinion of me.

Yesterday I was about to post something that I knew would possibly upset someone and make them think poorly of me even though I felt what I was saying was right a ethically/morally sound.

Instinctively I went to click delete, because that is what I'm used to doing, but before my cursor reached the X, the thought popped into my head "so what? I don't care what they think". And for once in my life that statement was true. It was not self-talk and trying to convince myself to placate any concerns or fears I had about someone  no longer liking me, it was a true feeling/emotion. I really did not care what this person thought of me.

It was a beautiful moment. I loved it. It is so freeing to be secure enough in yourself and your belief to not care what someone thinks.

Granted this was not a close friend or a relative, and it will be a while before I am confident enough to truly be myself without fear of rejection, but it is a start.

I hope that my daughters (and my sons, though I think it is more likely to affect my girls) never live in constant fear of other people's judgement. It is a very unhealthy way to live.