How to do homework, Naomi style...

I've lamented on Facebook about my extreme procrastination. People have suggested simply doing my homework early so I don't have to stay up late finishing assignments and so I can iron out any wrinkles that should occur right before I submit my work. 

In my defense it should be noted, my best ideas occur at the last minute. I have finished assignments early in the past, only to change my mind and come up with an even better idea a few hours before it is due. I get an adrenaline rush that promotes creativity and focus. Some teachers have suggested that if I could harness that energy sooner and learn to focus better I could excel above and beyond where I am. I've always ended up getting pretty good grades and doing well in other areas where I procrastinate (memorizing lines for a drama competition, writing an original oratory for a speech competition, writing my debates before the debate tournament, etc). 

So to show everyone, what it is like to be Naomi, I am writing up the events that have occurred today to prevent me from finishing any assignment early. 

1. Take a look at school calendar and blackboard and decide to try and finish study board questions for U.S. History as I was late on post and didn't receive any credit for it a few weeks ago. 

2. Decide to peek at Danny's blackboard schedule. 

3. Text Danny that he should download blackboard for android so he can keep up with his assignments and not be late. 

4. Try to hack into Danny's school e-mail account so I can forward his school e-mails to his phone like he requested. 

5. Log onto TCC's website and check out Danny's personal information to see if they listed what his e-mail address would be since it was not the standard first and last name. 

6. Realize he has not accepted his financial aid award offer. 

7. Go through the whole award acceptance schtick so he doesn't have and doesn't forget. 

8. Realize I'm going to be late for the TRX class I take at the gym if I don't get myself and the kids dressed and leave for the gym. 

9. Arrive at the gym with seconds to spare. 

10. Fall on the ground laughing as my husband suggest to me and another lady that planks are the perfect time to practice some kegels. 

11. Decide I should take a shower at the gym as I should get started on my homework as soon as I get home and put the kids down for a nap. 

12. Decide I am getting sort of pale so I should tan before my shower in order to wash the sweat off afterwards. 

13. Tan

14. Shower

15. Drive home singing educational children's songs at the top of my lungs.

16. Wave at strangers who are staring at me at stop light. 

17. Make the kids a quick PB&J sandwich, divvy up a small bag of cheetos and a small bag of snack cookies for the kids (never said I would feed them a nutritious lunch, did I?) and have them sit at the table to eat and suck down a capri sun flavored water. 

18. Rush the kids to go potty and then head to their respective places for naptime. 

19. Decide even though I'm not hungry I should eat one of my Lean Cuisine Quesadillas so I'm not tempted to snack on the kids lunch treats while doing homework. 

20. Decide I should make a huge bottle of water too. 

21. Check Facebook while I eat. Also open up a tab to research each topic left on the U.S. History discussion board.

22. Take the laptop into my room and grab my history book.

23. Notice one of the kids have unplugged the power strip we use to charge most electronic devices in our home. 

24. Decide my phone charger would be more accessible if it were plugged into said power strip instead of the outlet that is 4 feet from my nightstand.

25. Realize I will have to move our bed a bit to make it work. 

26. Try to move the bed. 

27. Decide I need to push from my legs if it's going to budge at all. 

28. Try even harder while silently praying I don't accidentally pee on myself and simultaneously making a mental note to not drink large sums of water before moving heavy objects.

29. Realize I cannot move the bed without my husband. Decide to plug my charger and other objects in and move my laptop cord to the outlet previous occupied by my phone charger as the laptop charger has a longer cord. 

30. Spot two pictures laying on my bed that our 3 year old girl Maeve was playing with. 

31. Ooh and aah over how cute my husband and I were when we were engaged. 

32. Decide I must find the frames and put the photos back in and display them on my night stand. 

33. See a candy cane wrapper on my nightstand from the candy canes I found stuffed in the back of the cabinet two days ago (what? don't judge me!)

34. Decide I would feel a lot better if things were picked up a bit. I'll be able to concentrate on my homework  better. 

35. See a small keebler elf rainbow snack package wrapper one of the kids must have dropped. 

36. Walk to the kitchen to throw them away.

37. Notice the garbage bag is getting full. 

38. Take out the trash. 

39. Get out new trash bag. 

40. See my gym bag laying on the floor next to the washing machine.

41. Decide to do the adult thing and wash my gym clothes right away. 

42. Go looking around the house for other dirty clothes to put in the wash. 

43. Start the washing machine. 

44. Notice the kids shoes and jackets surrounding the table. 

45. Hand up jackets and pick up shoes. 

46. Decide to hang up my purse so no kids can sneak any gum, or anything else from my purse. 

47. Decide to eat some cookies despite my previous decision (what I worked out today, so it's a wash!)

48. Throw away the wrapper. 

49. Take a pee break. 

50. Realize it's been about 4 hours since I decided to try and do my homework.

51. Laugh at how much I procrastinate. 

52. Decide to update my facebook status explaining everything. 

53. Realize I could never fit the story into 420 characters. 

54. Decide to write a blog about procrastinating doing my homework. 

And that's why I don't get my homework done early. I can never focus enough. I get too sidetracked. And now I'm getting pretty tired, so I might take a nap :D